Uh huh.  Word.

Now I need a Bubbe to come by and spit and I need to stay away from cracks in the sidewalk. 

So a patron just told me that I was so friendly and helpful all the time but that I act like a "coolie."  I had no idea what that meant, so I looked it up.

Coolie (variously spelled Cooly, Kuli, Quli, Koelie etc.) is:

• A historical term for manual labourers from Asia, particularly China and India, in the 19th century and early 20th century.

• A contemporary racial slur for people of Asian descent, including people from India, Central Asia, etc.
   

Really?  So being helpful and friendly and DOING MY JOB makes me, in your eyes, akin to cheap labor, someone others look down on? 

Or is my being helpful and nice now considered a negative?  When did that become a bad thing?

I'm not even Asian! 

Am I missing something here?

Can I hold a bridesmaid dress bonfire?  I can't escape the curse of shitty bridesmaid dresses!  Gah!

 Dear Asshole Jerk Neighbor, 

I have a few problems with you.  My main problem is your playing of incredibly loud music last night until 2 am.  It was a Sunday night.  People in our neighborhood like to sleep.  The fact that it was so loud that you couldn't hear the Ocala policewoman banging her fist until she dented your door is a second problem.  The third problem is your taste in music.  You were playing Van Halen.  Not Diamond David Lee Roth Van Halen.  Not Sammy Hagar Van Halen.  It had to be Gary Sharone Van Halen.  Really, if you're going to keep me awake until 2 am, at least have the self-respect to blast something of quality!!!  

Your Tired Pissed Off Neighbor

Not only do I hate Walmart more than anyplace else, I think I have one more reason to never ever set foot in there again.

I think I'm allergic to Walmart.

We went there the other night to find something Target didn't have.

And since yesterday morning, I've had a terrible itchy hives all over.  I haven't eaten anything out of the ordinary.  I haven't changed detergents.  I haven't been rolling out in the haystacks.

It's Walmart Rash. 

Fuck you, Walmart!

Dear God, when will the packing end?  I am so very tired.  :o(

A new study by Indiana University media researchers finds that Fox News host Bill O’Reilly calls "a person or a group a derogatory name once every 6.8 seconds, on average, or nearly nine times every minute during the editorials that open his program each night."

I was feeling it until I read further...

From Variety:

Stiles likes ring of 'Bell'

Actress takes on Sylvia Plath 'Bell' tolls for Stiles in Plum deal

Julia Stiles is taking on Sylvia Plath.

Thesp will produce and star in "The Bell Jar," the semi-autobiographical novel by the late poet Plath, for Gotham shingle Plum Pictures.

Playwright and screenwriter Tristine Skyler will adapt.

"The Bell Jar" tells the story of Esther Greenwood, a young reporter who seeks to make a name for herself in New York but spirals into depression and moves back to Boston. She eventually undergoes electroshock therapy and makes several attempts to take her own life.

Novel is regarded as a veiled account of Plath's own life. Stiles will play Greenwood; no other cast has yet been attached.

Stiles, along with Plum's Celine Rattray, Daniela Taplin Lundberg and Galt Niederhoffer, will produce. Christine Vachon's Killer Films will be associated with the project, with Vachon and Killer's Jocelyn Hayes Simpson exec producing.

Tome previously had been brought to the bigscreen by Melvin Simon's Avco Embassy banner; the 1979 project starred Julie Harris and was directed by Larry Peerce but was regarded as a B.O. disappointment.

Stiles had been seeking to bring a new version to the screen for several years. She eventually teamed with Plum, which had produced a short the thesp directed with Elle magazine, to option rights to the book.

Plath widow Ted Hughes, who became embroiled in an estate dispute after Plath's death in 1963, originally controlled the novel's option. Plum and Stiles purchased it from StudioCanal.

Book has many dark overtones, but Rattray said the project will emphasize some of the more uplifting elements. "Esther Greenwood has a strong outlook on life, and we're really looking to bring out the humor in the character," she said. "We don't want to do a depressing descent into the world of suicide."

Plum said it hopes to go into production early next year.

Skyler is known as a playwright ("The Moonlight Mile") and is adapting Jane Mendelsohn's novel "Innocence" for Killer Films.

The Stiles-Plum short-film collaboration, "Raving," starring Zooey Deschanel and Bill Irwin, will play the Tribeca Film Festival, which opens Wednesday, and will also air on the Sundance Channel. Stiles is also set to star in U's next installment of the "Bourne" franchise, "The Bourne Ultimatum."

Plum is in production on Matthew Broderick starrer "Diminished Capacity" and is in development on a remake of Michael Haneke's "Cache" at Universal.

Well I was self-handicapping myself for an awful weekend on South Beach already, but maybe I should have just stayed my normally positive and optimistic self!  It's already shaping up to be a trainwreck of a weekend! 

And it's all for the bachelorette party for my best friend who I love more than she knows. 

But anyway...

Two of the bridesmaids might not even make down it due to airline trouble.  Andrea was supposed to fly down from New York two days ago, but got screwed by her airline.  Now she's got four connections to make and she probably won't make her first connection.  Michelle's flight out of Atlanta this morning was cancelled due to the plane not getting there from Vegas.  Her flight's now possibly leaving tonight, but who knows?

My flights look fine right now.  But we'll see how that changes in the next five hours. 

In addition to it being the prime season for South Beach, it's also a holiday weekend AND the weekend of the Coconut Grove Arts Festival AND the Miami International Boat show, so Miami and the beaches will be packed with people. 

Add to that my hatred for South Beach in general and you've got an excited Erin. 

I'm also having these nightmare visions of being turned away from some awful club by some evil bouncer because I'm not pretty enough.  (And I know that's ridiculous and a poor reflection of society, but it happens down there.)  And so I'm forced to dress like a slut.  And I'm not a fan of doing that to myself.  But anyway...

And I'm also dropping around $200 for one night out and this makes my head want to explode. 

FUN TIMES AHOY!!!

Ugh.  Why does going to the dentist always emotionally fuck me up?  I am totally depressed right now. 

I am going home to drink and do laundry.  Fun times ahoy.