Screw the rules for this one.  I say just DRINK LIBERALLY!

Citizens, get your liquor ready.  This is the last year we're doing this.  You know when President Obama gives his speeches, we'll be drinking for another reason. 

I present, the 2008 State of the Union Drinking Game.

I went to Pub Quiz tonight at 4 P's with Alia, Josh, and Josh's law school friends John (he was actually awake!  Michelle calls him the Door Mouse because the guy is always sleeping!) and DeeDee. 

The quiz was pretty tough, but we thought we had a good shot at winning.  At 10:30, we had to turn the papers in to the pub owner (a guy with the thickest brogue ever) but we hadn't spent any time thinking up a good team name.  So just as he is snatching our page away to grade, Josh had no idea but to just write down his own name.  Team Josh!

So after we turned in the page, we all started calling and texting friends for answers.  (Sonia!)

At around 11, the quiz master took the mic again to read off answers.  After the first ten, we were sure we were well out of the running.  And in addition, some of the correct answers were totally incorrect!  (Sonia, he said Sheriff of Nottingham was correct as the snake in the Robin Hood movie instead of Sir Hiss.  WRONG!  We booed at that one.  Also, he said that in Pinocchio, Figaro is a fish.  Cleo is the fish!  Figaro is the kitty!)  Anyway.

But apparently my knowledge of Leon Uris novels is unparalleled.

So after that, he read off the winners.  Third place went to a team with a very dirty Harry Potter-related name.  Second place went to two guys sitting at the bar.  And then he got to first place.  And he said, "Now I hope this isn't just one guy..."  So I said to Josh, "Team Josh?"

TEAM JOSH! 

WOO!

We got $50 to spend next time!  We're going back Wednesday to defend our title.

Well I had a weekend of ups and downs!

Saturday was the best day and night I've had in a long time...

Angela and Heidi hosted P's bridal shower at Heidi's house.  We scrapbooked pages for a book for P.  I made little paper french toasts for mine in honor of our many many many servings of french toast at Bob and Edith's.  And I finally got to see Ainsley's preggy belly.  So cute!  It was a lovely little party.

That afternoon we had a barbecue at our house for Elena's birthday and for us to fuel up on protein and carbs before our night of debauchery in the form of Elena and P's co-Bachelorette Party.  For the barbecue, Elena and Ken made amazing pulled pork and I made a pile of cole slaw.  Yooli brewed up a stock pot of deliciously deceiving vodka punch.  Elena's sister Amanda (who is apparently my west coast doppleganger) flew all the way from California and frosted a penis cake!  Good times.

At 10pm, the Keg Bus arrived on the corner.  The thing was amazing.  A school bus with disco lights, a killer sound system, a bathroom, safety handles to drunkenly swing from, and a bar!  And the stop sign that pops out from the side of the bus says Drink!  We provided the keg and they drove us around DC to various bars.  We even had our own male beer wench named Andy to take care of us.  It was pretty brilliant.   It was also the best time we've had in ages!  Except, why do some guys think it's appropriate to suddenly grab a girl's butt?  Not okay!  How did your mama raise you?

On Sunday, I managed to wake up around 1pm and ate leftover cake for breakfast.  But then things turned to crap...

I had a softball game at 5pm.  It was nearly 100 degrees outside.  The ump made us play the full 7 innings.  By the 5th inning, I was completely flushed red, barely able to throw a straight pitch, but we of course had no subs, so I had to keep playing.  The team we played was full of assholes.  We ended up winning.  (Yay!)  After washing myself down with water (using a dirty sock) I made it to my car and slowly drove home (still dizzy) and sat in my car with the A/C on super high for about 20 minutes.  After that, I trudged up the driveway and lay on the living room floor for a bit longer, watched Chris play Tiger Woods on XBox.  Then I gathered all my strength to go up to my room to shower.  Then I threw up.  Then I tried to eat a sandwich.  Then I passed out for about an hour.  Then I woke up and threw up again, a lot.  My head was pounding.  Then I went to sleep and woke up this morning. 

I think I had heat exhaustion. 

Erin Doyle life lesson #1:  Don't drink all night and then wake up the next morning to play softball in the 100 degree heat, children.  It's not wise. 

Erin Doyle life lesson #2: Rent a Keg Bus!

8:46  I am so excited for the Sergeant at Arms to announce to the chamber "Madam Speaker, the President of the United States!"
8:48  Is it wrong that I giggle everytime a commentator says "Pelosi's box"?
8:49  Oy.  Cheney and Pelosi.  They just have each other to talk to right now.  AWKWARD!  Cheney is wearing a fucking purple tie.  THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES!  SAN FRANCISCO VALUES ARE SPREADING!
8:54 Aww. Someone talk to Keith Ellison.  He looks lonely.  Like when you're at a party with no one to talk to and you keep putting your coat on and taking it off to seem busy.
9:00 Does everybody have their beverages ready?
9:01 Is that KITTY?  WTF is she doing there?
9:09 Madam Speaker!  Madam Speaker!  Madam Speaker!  Ugh I am such a nerdy little feminist.
9:10 Total golf claps.
9:12 Ugh for real, enough applause already. 
9:14 Everyone pour a little bit of your 40 out on the curb for Senator Johnson.
9:17 Hmmm.  Balance the budget...not raising taxes...but still spending.  Okay so...
9:20 So there goes any way for afterschool programs, grants, and science to get funding...AWESOME!
9:21 Ah here we go...NCLB...UNFUNDED MANDATE!  This is like, his legacy.
9:22 Margaret Spellings looks like an evil librarian from another dimension.
9:23 Oh God I need more alcohol...
9:25 Two friends just IMed to say Cheney is popping nitro pills.  LOL.
9:27 Okay so the government doesn't meddle in your health decisions. But sorry, you can't have an abortion and we don't want to allow stem cell research.
9:28 Tom Tancredo is a douche.  Everyone take a shot of tequila and go holler something en espanol.
9:30 Ahh the energy section.  I can't hear my roommate yelling from the first floor!
9:31: NUKULAR!!!  DRINK SOMETHING!
9:32 Wait...a reduction of fossil fuel usage by 20% in 10 years?  Is he just reading Andrew Shepherd's speech from The American President?
9:33 How drunk am I?  He just acknowledged the existence of global warming...
9:34 Oh wait we almost forgot the mandatory mention of 9-11.
9:37 We have always been at war with Eurasia...
9:38 Terrorists hate our dreams, too!
9:41 Even Cheney is twiddling his thumbs.
9:42 REMEMBER TO NEVER FORGET NINE ELEVEN!
9:46 This has gotten really boring.  I'm tired of terrorism already.  They need to find something new.
9:49  Just because we don't support the war, doesn't mean we don't support the troops.  Ugh.  I hate that shit!
9:51 Is the president wearing blush?
9:52 Quick!  We need more poor brown people to join the military!  And computer geeks, too!  They've got mad skillz!
9:53 He keeps saying NUKULAR!  I am going to run out of rum.
9:54 Where the hell is Duh-fur?
9:59 Basketball players, Baby Einstein, the Subway Rescue Hero...BE HAPPY AMERICA! FOR FREEDOM! GO USA!
10:00 Yeah like Bush or any member of Congress would jump onto a Metro rail to save a stranger.  Yeah right.  You'd better applaud that dude.
10:02 Lynne Cheney's hair is HUGE!  Like Wyoming huge!
10:03 It's over!

10:15 JIM WEBB! GO VIRGINIA!
10:16 At least he doesn't have the Tim Kaine eyebrow problem...
10:18 Nice.  Main Street before Wall Street.  Me gusta.
10:20 Way to go, Senator.  Mention your kid in Iraq to make the drunk bloggers cry.
10:24 I am so happy I voted for you, sir.

Okay.  That's it.  Thanks folks.  God bless America and everybody else.

Here's the rules from the official site.

Here's the extra funny ones via Wonkette.

Now excuse me as I go pour some rum and re-up all the calories I just burned at the gym.  I will be on chat to entertain you as well. 

Cheers, kids!